Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Life in Pictures


Adam practicing his dad skills: pancake-making and babywearing.


Pedicures and lunch with some of the best friends a girl could ask for.




An unexpected visit from my Grandpa Wes, and a fairly awful picture of yours truly. He's one of the neatest, most wonderful guys I've ever known.

And a few shots of the infamous co-ed baby shower which was a ton of fun.

So, someone very special made us a diaper cake. It's so freaking fantastic I can't seem to dismantle it. Maybe on a late night when we're in dire need of diapers...




This is soon-to-be Great Grandpa Travis, telling me he thinks I'm destined to have a very big baby. I know it looks that way, but he could be smaller, right? Can't a girl still dream?


Not all brothers are cool enough to make it to your baby shower. Mine is.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

So, it's SIX days until....

Halloween! Yes! I love Halloween and love that it's almost here. I love it even though I don't have super fun plans this year - no extravagant parties, no elaborate costumes or trick-or-treating. I really just enjoy the small things a great deal. Pumpkin carving, seeing costumes, having some extra candy around the house, and making scary things fun. I love that our neighborhood has become wrought with styrofoam graveyards and fake cobwebs, and that come Monday night, I'll be safe inside watching a scary movie and handing out candy with Adam. This year, I am particularly suited to dress up as a jack o' lantern, but haven't quite got my costume together yet. We'll see what comes of it.

In other countdown-related news, I've reached the 35/35 mark - 35 weeks along, 35 days to go until my due date. We had a very uneventful doctors appointment today, which is awesome (in pregnancy, uneventful usually = healthy, good, all systems are go, etc.) Sweet baby boy remains head-down, and probably won't be somersaulting much since space has gotten extremely limited in there. His heartrate remains strong and growth is on-track. My growth has slowed somewhat; I only gained 1 lb. this month, which is actually normal and fine. Since I'm already at the "higher" end of the weight gain recommendations (*ahem, second trimester Ben & Jerry's), I don't need to gain much more, though apparently the baby still gains about a 1/2 lb. per week. My stomach has shrunken so eating a lot is unappealing (i.e., impossible), though I'd like to considering this is one of the few times in life I'd allow myself to go bananas with some banana split ice cream. (Which I did last week.) I'm trying to keep up my intake of fruits, veggies & healthy proteins, otherwise, it's nice to be rather unconcerned with my diet.

We also made some big strides in some last minute baby-related tasks, the biggest of which was taking care of the business of the infant carseat. I could probably title this "Carseat Installation aka It's Not as Easy as You'd Think." Okay, I should back up. To be fair, carseats are seemingly easy to install. They aren't rocket science. They come with clear instructions and have simple install features so even the most ignorant of us (that would be moi) can figure it out. Now, Adam & I have really done our homework on this one. There is a lot of information out there to take in if you want it about safe carseat safety. For example, where in the car is the safest spot? A perfectly simple question. Well, our car manual would tell you behind the passenger seat using the swanky LATCH system that's installed there. However, many of the carseat safety groups advocate for installing it in the middle seat, forgoing the LATCH system in favor of using the seatbelt pulled very tightly, since the middle is the safest in the event of an accident. The carseat manual says either is fine. So that leaves us scratching our heads a bit.

Then, there's the reality of the SIZE of your carseat and the SIZE of your car. We have the trusty commuter's dream, the Jetta, which has a lovely small backseat and somewhat compact features. Thus, it seemed only natural that the carseat should live in the bigger, seemingly safer and made-of-more-steel Toyota Corolla. This week I got the floors and upholstery shampooed and sparkling clean (thank you Groupon for the sweet car detailing deal), and we set out to do the big install. It quickly became apparent that because the carseat isn't supposed to touch the two front seats, they'd have to be moved pretty far up to accomodate the size of the carseat. The passenger seat will now be moved pretty far up, possibly a little beyond the comfort zone of my long-legged husband or my very pregnant belly. So, we monkeyed with it and monkeyed with it. Adam was a great sport since he was doing most of the work, though I tried to glean whatever wisdom I could and looked on. It may be that we figure out a better way to install it, or perhaps one of us will be sitting in the back with the baby for road trips for the immediate future. Either way, we've got it done, so poor Adam won't have to be out in the rain doing it at the last minute if the baby comes early.

Some memorable moments from this week I want to jot down, lest they be lost forver:
  • Our baby kicking the doctors hands back as she tried to get an accurate read on his heartbeat with the doppler. We laughed and I sort of half apologized for his behavior, though inside I was secretly pleased he is so strong and healthy. Some really awesome doctors will used warmed gel, and she used the cold kind, so I can't really blame him anyway. It was chilly!
  • Eating my first Philly cheesesteak at one of the food carts down the street. Never before has "cheesesteak" sounded remotely appealing. Now I actually crave meat (and beef, specifically), which is totally unlike my normal self. Obviously I'm attributing this to have a little person with half of Adam's DNA inside me. I have to say, it was totally amazing and delicious and there is something very primal and satisfying about eating a bunch of grilled meat, onions and cheese.
  • Adam squeezing my hand as we took our hospital tour and stepped foot in the place where some very important life-changing events are about to happen. We were both very impressed with the amenties of the hospital I'll be delivering at. They offer huge, private rooms, labor tubs, a wall of birth balls of varying sizes, and wireless monitoring. The staff are committed to keeping moms and babies together and really promote breastfeeding which I liked. They have the lowest cesarean rate of any hospital in Oregon, and I felt very encouraged about birthing there. It was surreal knowing the next time I walk out through those doors, I'll likely have my son snuggled up in my arms.
  • Having my dad over this weekend, sleeping in, making pumpkin muffins, followed by a long three mile walk through the beautiful red and orange leaves along the bikepath near my house. Heavenly.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Giving thanks

I don't stop often enough and give thanks. I have so much gratitude in my heart and tonight just feel like sharing.

Over the past 2-3 weeks, we've gotten to spend time with lots of loved ones near and far. Parents, friends, other family have come and stayed with us or taken the time to just say hi. I'm thankful for the opportunity to see them, spend time with them, and share life with them. I am so lucky to have our families, and lucky to have friends that feel like family. And grateful for houseguests who don't mind sleeping on our Aerobed (or at least, pretend like they don't) and don't mind talking for hours on our kitchen barstools. It's a funny thing about living rooms - cozy though they are, everyone wants to hang in the kitchen. I'm the same way when I visit my friends. (Maybe psychotherapists should consider setting up chaise lounges in kitchens instead of offices?) Someday, when I have my dream house, the kitchen will be outfitted with some swanky couches and lounge chairs for the express purpose of having comfort in the room people like to visit in the most.

I'm feeling thankful for a great deal of love and support from said loved ones for this baby and our transition to parenthood. I had a baby shower with my closest college friends which included a long, luxurious pedicure, delicious lunch, present-opening, PIE (my favorite dessert), and best of all, time spent together with these ladies who I adore more than life itself. We live busy lives and it's not often we get hours to spend together. We had such a ball. It was honestly one of the best days I've ever had. And of course flew by way too quickly. My mom also hosted a very festive and amazing co-ed baby shower for Adam & I last weekend, which was a ton of fun. We played games, ate some great food, got to be in the same room with a lot of folks who we love seeing, and felt very celebrated. We were generously given many items for our sweet lovebug baby which has helped us feel totally ready and excited to bring him home and try out all this great stuff. But the greatest gift of all was just getting to see lots of people we love. Anyway, we'll try to upload some pictures soon since those are a lot more fun to look at than just reading my ramblings.

And on a sort of related tangent, I'm feeling especially grateful for the health of our baby. As I write this, I'm looking down at my belly and am watching him sway his little bottom from left to right, which makes my belly look very lopsided and is a surefire way to get a giggle out of me. I can't say for certain if he's in perfect health, but it's moments like these which remind me he's doing pretty well in there. I've shared with some of you that early on my pregnancy, we had a few complications. I experienced a fair amount of of bleeding which is not normal (though not entirely uncommon) and could have resulted in the loss of the pregnancy at many stages. I worried during much of my first trimester that I would miscarry. It was an emotionally trying time, to say the least. I had a great doctor who didn't tell me things were fine, but kept a positive attitude and did extra ultrasounds for 3 or 4 weeks straight so we could determine what was going on. At first, we just saw a tiny yolk sac, but no baby. The next week, we saw a fetal pole, but it was too early to really determine that I had a viable pregnancy given the bleeding I was having. Finally, the following week we saw the baby's heartbeat for the first time, and weeks later he was still there...and obviously he's still here and making his presence quite known.

During that early time, I started to consider what it would be like to lose the pregnancy to emotionally prepare myself should it have happened. In my head, I knew it didn't necessarily mean I could never try to have a baby again. I even considered this outcome might be "for the best" or meant it was never to be for reasons beyond my understanding. But those thoughts are much less consoling than one might think. I didn't want another baby - I wanted this baby. I wanted him and no other. I knew he was special and miraculous and my heart burned with so much love for him before he was barely the size of a sweet pea. He was my sweet pea, and I desperately wanted him. I had one of those negotiating conversations in my heart with God that if I could have this - if he could just be okay - I would never ask for *anything* else ever again. (Which is totally unfair, since I've broken this promise with God about 10 or 20 times in my life. So far, God seems to be pretty forgiving.) Those are hard conversations for the heart because it ultimately means accepting that many things in life aren't in your hands. Long story short, this baby became more than a speck, and grew and grew. (And he's still growing. And from the way I feel and the sneak peeks we've gotten so far, he's going to be quite a good-sized chunk of baby love.) I cannot express the gratitude I feel for this.

On a more lighthearted note, I'm also going to give a gratitude shout-out for some of the good things in life I've been enjoying:
  • Pumpkin spice steamers from Starbucks. Caffeine-free fall bliss.
  • 60% off sale on some decent maternity jeans = going out in public in what feels like halfway normal clothes.
  • Living a few blocks away to a heated indoor pool and having time to swim there. Those hours are, in a word, luscious.
  • The last of the season of cheap heirloom tomatoes at the farmer's markets.
  • A new season of Modern Family = best 30 minutes of non-cable laughs on television.
  • Conveniences of having a modern pregnancy. Case in point - nursing bras. Genuis. Even better? My Snoogle pillow, which has been worth it's weight in gold lately. It comes HIGHLY recommended for the the pregnant and non-pregnant alike. In between my five or six bathroom trips during the night, I get to look like this lady. Fabulous.