So, it's SIX days until....

Halloween! Yes! I love Halloween and love that it's almost here. I love it even though I don't have super fun plans this year - no extravagant parties, no elaborate costumes or trick-or-treating. I really just enjoy the small things a great deal. Pumpkin carving, seeing costumes, having some extra candy around the house, and making scary things fun. I love that our neighborhood has become wrought with styrofoam graveyards and fake cobwebs, and that come Monday night, I'll be safe inside watching a scary movie and handing out candy with Adam. This year, I am particularly suited to dress up as a jack o' lantern, but haven't quite got my costume together yet. We'll see what comes of it.

In other countdown-related news, I've reached the 35/35 mark - 35 weeks along, 35 days to go until my due date. We had a very uneventful doctors appointment today, which is awesome (in pregnancy, uneventful usually = healthy, good, all systems are go, etc.) Sweet baby boy remains head-down, and probably won't be somersaulting much since space has gotten extremely limited in there. His heartrate remains strong and growth is on-track. My growth has slowed somewhat; I only gained 1 lb. this month, which is actually normal and fine. Since I'm already at the "higher" end of the weight gain recommendations (*ahem, second trimester Ben & Jerry's), I don't need to gain much more, though apparently the baby still gains about a 1/2 lb. per week. My stomach has shrunken so eating a lot is unappealing (i.e., impossible), though I'd like to considering this is one of the few times in life I'd allow myself to go bananas with some banana split ice cream. (Which I did last week.) I'm trying to keep up my intake of fruits, veggies & healthy proteins, otherwise, it's nice to be rather unconcerned with my diet.

We also made some big strides in some last minute baby-related tasks, the biggest of which was taking care of the business of the infant carseat. I could probably title this "Carseat Installation aka It's Not as Easy as You'd Think." Okay, I should back up. To be fair, carseats are seemingly easy to install. They aren't rocket science. They come with clear instructions and have simple install features so even the most ignorant of us (that would be moi) can figure it out. Now, Adam & I have really done our homework on this one. There is a lot of information out there to take in if you want it about safe carseat safety. For example, where in the car is the safest spot? A perfectly simple question. Well, our car manual would tell you behind the passenger seat using the swanky LATCH system that's installed there. However, many of the carseat safety groups advocate for installing it in the middle seat, forgoing the LATCH system in favor of using the seatbelt pulled very tightly, since the middle is the safest in the event of an accident. The carseat manual says either is fine. So that leaves us scratching our heads a bit.

Then, there's the reality of the SIZE of your carseat and the SIZE of your car. We have the trusty commuter's dream, the Jetta, which has a lovely small backseat and somewhat compact features. Thus, it seemed only natural that the carseat should live in the bigger, seemingly safer and made-of-more-steel Toyota Corolla. This week I got the floors and upholstery shampooed and sparkling clean (thank you Groupon for the sweet car detailing deal), and we set out to do the big install. It quickly became apparent that because the carseat isn't supposed to touch the two front seats, they'd have to be moved pretty far up to accomodate the size of the carseat. The passenger seat will now be moved pretty far up, possibly a little beyond the comfort zone of my long-legged husband or my very pregnant belly. So, we monkeyed with it and monkeyed with it. Adam was a great sport since he was doing most of the work, though I tried to glean whatever wisdom I could and looked on. It may be that we figure out a better way to install it, or perhaps one of us will be sitting in the back with the baby for road trips for the immediate future. Either way, we've got it done, so poor Adam won't have to be out in the rain doing it at the last minute if the baby comes early.

Some memorable moments from this week I want to jot down, lest they be lost forver:

• Our baby kicking the doctors hands back as she tried to get an accurate read on his heartbeat with the doppler. We laughed and I sort of half apologized for his behavior, though inside I was secretly pleased he is so strong and healthy. Some really awesome doctors will used warmed gel, and she used the cold kind, so I can't really blame him anyway. It was chilly!
• Eating my first Philly cheesesteak at one of the food carts down the street. Never before has "cheesesteak" sounded remotely appealing. Now I actually crave meat (and beef, specifically), which is totally unlike my normal self. Obviously I'm attributing this to have a little person with half of Adam's DNA inside me. I have to say, it was totally amazing and delicious and there is something very primal and satisfying about eating a bunch of grilled meat, onions and cheese.
  
• Adam squeezing my hand as we took our hospital tour and stepped foot in the place where some very important life-changing events are about to happen. We were both very impressed with the amenties of the hospital I'll be delivering at. They offer huge, private rooms, labor tubs, a wall of birth balls of varying sizes, and wireless monitoring. The staff are committed to keeping moms and babies together and really promote breastfeeding which I liked. They have the lowest cesarean rate of any hospital in Oregon, and I felt very encouraged about birthing there. It was surreal knowing the next time I walk out through those doors, I'll likely have my son snuggled up in my arms.
• Having my dad over this weekend, sleeping in, making pumpkin muffins, followed by a long three mile walk through the beautiful red and orange leaves along the bikepath near my house. Heavenly.

Giving thanks

I don't stop often enough and give thanks. I have so much gratitude in my heart and tonight just feel like sharing.

Over the past 2-3 weeks, we've gotten to spend time with lots of loved ones near and far. Parents, friends, other family have come and stayed with us or taken the time to just say hi. I'm thankful for the opportunity to see them, spend time with them, and share life with them. I am so lucky to have our families, and lucky to have friends that feel like family. And grateful for houseguests who don't mind sleeping on our Aerobed (or at least, pretend like they don't) and don't mind talking for hours on our kitchen barstools. It's a funny thing about living rooms - cozy though they are, everyone wants to hang in the kitchen. I'm the same way when I visit my friends. (Maybe psychotherapists should consider setting up chaise lounges in kitchens instead of offices?) Someday, when I have my dream house, the kitchen will be outfitted with some swanky couches and lounge chairs for the express purpose of having comfort in the room people like to visit in the most.

I'm feeling thankful for a great deal of love and support from said loved ones for this baby and our transition to parenthood. I had a baby shower with my closest college friends which included a long, luxurious pedicure, delicious lunch, present-opening, PIE (my favorite dessert), and best of all, time spent together with these ladies who I adore more than life itself. We live busy lives and it's not often we get hours to spend together. We had such a ball. It was honestly one of the best days I've ever had. And of course flew by way too quickly. My mom also hosted a very festive and amazing co-ed baby shower for Adam & I last weekend, which was a ton of fun. We played games, ate some great food, got to be in the same room with a lot of folks who we love seeing, and felt very celebrated. We were generously given many items for our sweet lovebug baby which has helped us feel totally ready and excited to bring him home and try out all this great stuff. But the greatest gift of all was just getting to see lots of people we love. Anyway, we'll try to upload some pictures soon since those are a lot more fun to look at than just reading my ramblings.

And on a sort of related tangent, I'm feeling especially grateful for the health of our baby. As I write this, I'm looking down at my belly and am watching him sway his little bottom from left to right, which makes my belly look very lopsided and is a surefire way to get a giggle out of me. I can't say for certain if he's in perfect health, but it's moments like these which remind me he's doing pretty well in there. I've shared with some of you that early on my pregnancy, we had a few complications. I experienced a fair amount of of bleeding which is not normal (though not entirely uncommon) and could have resulted in the loss of the pregnancy at many stages. I worried during much of my first trimester that I would miscarry. It was an emotionally trying time, to say the least. I had a great doctor who didn't tell me things were fine, but kept a positive attitude and did extra ultrasounds for 3 or 4 weeks straight so we could determine what was going on. At first, we just saw a tiny yolk sac, but no baby. The next week, we saw a fetal pole, but it was too early to really determine that I had a viable pregnancy given the bleeding I was having. Finally, the following week we saw the baby's heartbeat for the first time, and weeks later he was still there...and obviously he's still here and making his presence quite known.

During that early time, I started to consider what it would be like to lose the pregnancy to emotionally prepare myself should it have happened. In my head, I knew it didn't necessarily mean I could never try to have a baby again. I even considered this outcome might be "for the best" or meant it was never to be for reasons beyond my understanding. But those thoughts are much less consoling than one might think. I didn't want another baby - I wanted this baby. I wanted him and no other. I knew he was special and miraculous and my heart burned with so much love for him before he was barely the size of a sweet pea. He was my sweet pea, and I desperately wanted him. I had one of those negotiating conversations in my heart with God that if I could have this - if he could just be okay - I would never ask for *anything* else ever again. (Which is totally unfair, since I've broken this promise with God about 10 or 20 times in my life. So far, God seems to be pretty forgiving.) Those are hard conversations for the heart because it ultimately means accepting that many things in life aren't in your hands. Long story short, this baby became more than a speck, and grew and grew. (And he's still growing. And from the way I feel and the sneak peeks we've gotten so far, he's going to be quite a good-sized chunk of baby love.) I cannot express the gratitude I feel for this.

On a more lighthearted note, I'm also going to give a gratitude shout-out for some of the good things in life I've been enjoying:

• Pumpkin spice steamers from Starbucks. Caffeine-free fall bliss.
• 60% off sale on some decent maternity jeans = going out in public in what feels like halfway normal clothes.
• Living a few blocks away to a heated indoor pool and having time to swim there. Those hours are, in a word, luscious.
  
• The last of the season of cheap heirloom tomatoes at the farmer's markets.
• A new season of Modern Family = best 30 minutes of non-cable laughs on television.
  
• Conveniences of having a modern pregnancy. Case in point - nursing bras. Genuis. Even better? My Snoogle pillow, which has been worth it's weight in gold lately. It comes HIGHLY recommended for the the pregnant and non-pregnant alike. In between my five or six bathroom trips during the night, I get to look like this lady. Fabulous.

31 weeks!

31 weeks = only 9 weeks to go (as per plan) until our baby makes his grand appearance. 9 weeks!! That is starting to sound like a really small number. Adam & I have been reminiscing about how it wasn't that long ago that we were marveling about being 20 weeks along. This whole experience has flown by and sometimes I feel like we've been so busy with moving and getting ready that I haven't stopped to take it in more. I wish I had kept a journal, or taken more pictures of the journey. Truth be told though, I'm living the journey and doing the best I can, and sometimes that means I'm not going to do every little thing. Anyway, lately I've been getting a sense of urgency about being ready. I don't think the baby is coming anytime super soon, but I feel like I have a lot of projects and things to accomplish before the big day. The following is just a sampling:

• I'm working on packing my hospital bag. As a reward for birthing our baby, I decided to treat myself to a nice set of nursing pajamas that are due to arrive in the mail any day. In addition to my new pjs, the "hospital bag" will really just include a few essentials for Adam & I (toiletries, snacks, maybe an extra pillow, clothes, going home outfit for the baby) and will be sitting by our front door until the big day arrives.
  
• Our infant carseat is in a box in the living room, awaiting some serious attention to the matter of correctly installing it into the backseat of our car.
  
• We have a stroller! It is red, it folds nicely, does neat tricks and turns on a dime. I spent way too much time researching/overthinking the stroller choice but I love the one we got and I think it will work perfectly for us. Right now, we have the baby's stuffed robot strapped into it so we could get in some practice time around the house. Next up, we need to get a handle on using the carseat with the stroller so we'll know what we're doing when the time comes.
  
• Childbirth classes. We actually went to one last month, but decided it wasn't the right class for us so we're starting new classes at the hospital tomorrow night. I'm excited.
• Designing a closet storage system for the baby's room. The baby's room is pretty small, and the closet has one long shelf across the top which unfortunately is pretty useless to store baby stuff. So, this task will involve measuring/sketching the shelving we want, going to Lowe's/Home Depot and buying said sytem, and then coming home and actually installing it. Neither Adam nor I really enjoy home improvement projects that much and have been pretty busy, so this has taken a back seat on our list. But it's there.
• I sorted and washed all the baby clothes we have so far. Then I sat down on the couch to fold each tiny little thing. I can hardly find the words to describe how much I loved doing that. We'll see if I feel the same way about baby laundry a few months from now.
  
• Other, misc. baby-related to do's: Minor car repairs on the Jetta. Possibly getting a nicer camera if finances allow. Buying life insurance. Scheduling newborn photography if we decide to do it. Planning one last weekend getaway for the two of us to the Oregon coast. Picking out a pediatrician. Picking up a small pack of newborn diapers. The list goes on, and on, and on. Most of these items involve the expenditure of money, which we don't have an endless supply of. So we'll see what we can get done, and the rest will work itself out.

In the midst of all this preparing for the baby, we're just living life. Adam is working from home, and working long hours. I'm also working temp jobs, which is a big change from my professional career job but has afforded us some extra money and a lot of flexibility since I can turn down jobs and work whenever I want. It's not something I plan to do for very long but before I get back into a full-time, serious social work job, it's working out just fine. We're enjoying the rain, seeing a lot of our loved ones up here and enjoying our last few weeks of freedom. For example, tonight I came home from work, took a quick nap with Adam, spent a leisurely amount of time making pork chops, homemade applesauce & swiss chard for dinner, talked on the phone with my cousin, swept the floor and watched Dancing with the Stars. I'm fairly certain our nights like this are going to be few and far between come December.

Two years of marriage

We celebrated our two year wedding anniversary last week, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite holidays of the year. (It's a whole holiday we get just to ourselves! So fun.) We've been together for well over seven years now, and I can honestly say I love Adam more and more each year. You'd think that after waking up next to the same person day after day, you'd get tired or bored, but I feel lucky. I still swoon a little when I look at him from across a room sometimes. He never fails to make me laugh, make me think, and help me a better version of myself. He still surprises me sometimes and we never run out of things to talk about. I think that's almost weird. We're around each other all the time, but truth be told, I'd hardly rather be anywhere else. I truly enjoy being in his company and feel so thankful for our friendship and the fact that I've found someone I love so much to spend my life with. This year, our celebration was pretty low-key. Our actual anniversary was a beautiful, warm summer night and we walked around downtown for awhile and treated ourselves to a fondue dinner. Said dinner included a big pot of melted cheese, bread, apples, and vegetables for dipping, salad, and a mix of of filet mignon (for Adam) and shrimp (for me) which we cooked in a French-style broth. We're totally going back for dessert fondue since we were way too stuffed to even try it.

Mmmm....fondue


Anyway, in celebration of many years of love, etc. the photo portion of this blog post will be kicking it old school showcasing some oldies but goodies from way back when.

Hanging out at my old apartment in 2005


Goofing off in front of Adam's old house in Orange, CA


U of O graduation in 2007


Couple of kids in love, shot in Adam's parents' backyard in...2004?


September 13th, 2009. Happiest day of my life.

Heave ho to Idaho!

Last weekend, I ventured out on what will likely be one of last ever road trips sans baby. My mom & I drove out to Lewiston, Idaho where we share roots with some pretty wonderful folks. The drive, the place and of course the people are pretty near and dear to my heart and I was way overdue for a visit. We attended the wedding of one of my cousins (well, my second or third cousin, actually...but who needs labels), and the party doubled as a sort of family reunion with lots of laughs and good times.

Driving along the Columbia Gorge. Some of it is dramatic and beautiful...


But most of the drive is pretty much like this.

G&J's in Umatilla.

Banana milkshakes at G&J's: A family tradition.

Sweet homeless kitty at a fruit stand near Walla Walla. I instantly feel in love and spent the next 20 minutes cuddling with her and thinking about putting her in the car with us. I was *this* close to doing so but decided that given her extensive vet needs and awful timing with other events in my life, I would think about it for a couple of days. We stopped back on our way home and the fruit stand folks were happy to report she'd been adopted by a some other nice travelers.

Mom with our fruit stand bounty: Washington cherries, Hermiston watermelon and sweet Walla Walla onions from the source. The farmer selling them actually had too many melons on hand and threw in a few extra for free. Score.

View of the hills from downtown Lewiston

My mom's cousin Karen & I.


Mom, Linda & I. You can't tell from this picture, but just an hour earlier it was 103 degrees in downtown Clarkston. Oh man, talk about hot. Thank heavens for the watermelon...

Lovebug updates - 28 weeks, 4 days

It's been awhile since we've put much on the blog about the baby, so here's the latest and greatest in babyland. I'm happy to share that our lovebug is doing great, as healthy and active as ever. He (& I) are getting bigger every week and it's exciting to be able to feel him all the time. His kicks and dances are so strong they actually wake me up at night. I am adjusting to my body changing and really enjoying swimming a lot as it's the one time I can just float and not have to carry around all this weight out in front of me. The baby loves swimming too and tends to gently sway more and kick less when I'm in the water.

One of the not-so-smart things I've found myself inevitably doing during pregnancy is comparing and assigning meaning between my experience being pregnant and what other pregnant ladies are going through. I think a lot of women do it, and sometimes you start to worry if you're not feeling the baby as much as they are, or not having the same symptoms, etc. (Honestly, I often find myself feeling much better than people expect and don't often relate to the usual complaints of pregnancy. I think I've just been very lucky to have an easy time with it. I also try to remember that this is all quite temporary and well worth the discomforts.) I think every body and every baby is so different that it's pretty much useless to spend energy comparing notes. That said, until recently I've been reading and hearing a lot about Braxton Hicks contractions (false or practice labor) and wondering why it wasn't happening to me. I was sort of feeling left in the dust...until last night when I had what I believe was my first real contraction. I got pretty excited and woke Adam up to tell him about it even though it was 4 a.m. Finally I could understand what everyone was talking about! Basically, my belly felt like a balloon that was being blown up until it was so big and tight that it couldn't get any harder or bigger. Then, about a minute or two later, it slowly went away. It wasn't painful, just odd. Pretty interesting.

In other news, it's been excruciatingly hot here lately with temperatures in the 90s almost every day. We're doing our best to stay cool but I'm really longing for some rain...or clouds...or just a cool day. Last weekend the house was super hot so we drove up the Historical Columbia Hwy to see some waterfalls and find some cold water. It's awesome after living in San Jose to be out of the city and in the middle of paradise in only 20 minutes. We hiked up LaTourell Falls and Horsetail Falls and didn't end up swimming a lot but got a little wet under the falls. I am a pretty embarassing hiking partner as I can't really climb very fast and get pretty short of breath. Adam was super patient and went the same speed as me, not caring when lots of people would pass us. He's a nice guy like that. We had a fun day and didn't stop to take any pictures, but here are some internet photos of where we ventured to. It really is this pretty.

Trail to Horsetail Falls

This water is way colder than it looks.


Here are a couple of photos of our nursery-in-progress. The crib was generously given to us by good friends, the dresser is a craigslist purchase and the rocking chair is a gift from my dad. We're not sure if the room is going to be super matchy, but we liked this rocket ship bedding set and might add some other items to have a "Fly Me To the Moon" nursery theme. :)


Birthing ball, box of boy shoes from a friend, baby gate, and Goodnight Moon. Just some essentials.

Note a few tiny items already hanging in the closet - fun stuff. I love sitting in the new chair and am planning on spending lots of time in this spot.

Yours truly at just before 29 weeks. Cruisin' right along.

I told the Mr. I wanted to put up a picture of him also, for good measure, and this is what I got.

Sweet Cornmeal Shortcakes with Strawberry Rhubarb Sauce

Baking is truly my culinary achilles heel and nowhere is that more apparent than when I try my hand at biscuit making. We love biscuits (really, who doesn't?) and many things about biscuits would lead you to believe they'd be pretty darn simple to bake up. The ingredient list is relatively short, and great biscuits have been made by women for generations - even pioneer women without any of the fancy gadgets I have at my disposal. Still, I've made some unbelievably awful batches of biscuits. Ones that don't rise, taste bland and end up looking like hockey pucks. My desire to be able to whip up light, fluffy buttery biscuits at a moment's notice has helped me persevere and I've finally been able to make some that are a-ok. Not great, not the best, but not bad, either. I owe my meanger attempts at biscuit success to: buying a fresh can of baking powder, using self-rising flour, and handling the dough as little as humanly possible.

I decided to try my hand at making some sweet biscuits to go with my homemade strawberry rhubarb sauce, which is made all the easier by the fact that I now have a humongous, overgrown rhubarb plant right outside my doorstep. It's an original summer recipe by yours truly and is well-worth the effort of homemade biscuits. Serve with your favorite fruit sauce and ice cream.

Sweet Cornmeal Shortcakes

• 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup of yellow cornmeal
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 cup of sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon lemon zest
  
• 6 tablespoons chilled butter, cut into small pieces
• 1 1/4 cups heavy cream
• 1 egg, lightly beaten

1. Preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Sift together the flour, cornmeal, baking powder, sugar, salt, and lemon zest in a mixing bowl.
   
2. Using a pastry blender or food processor, cut in butter pieces until dough is crumbly with the clumps the size of small peas.
3. Make a small well in the center of the bowl and gently pour in the heavy cream and beaten egg.
   
4. Stir with a spatula until *just* combined into a wet dough and, using floured hands, turn out onto a large greased baking sheet.
5. Lightly knead or roll dough out into a large circle of 1/2-inch thickness. The dough will be messy and will not have a perfect shape; they are meant to look rustic and will taste delicious regadless. Cut into 6 or 7 scone-shaped triangles and gently separate one another by at least inch. If desired, use additional cream or a beaten egg to brush atop the biscuits and sprinkle an additional tablespoon of sugar over the top.
6. Bake until lightly browned or for 15 - 18 minutes and cool on a baking rack.

Biscuits cooling on the rack

Easy rhubarb sauce: 3-4 long stalks cut up with 1/2 pint strawberries, 1/2 - 3/4 cup of sugar (depending on sweetness of your rhubarb), a squirt of lemon juice and 1/4 cup of water simmered for 20 minutes until, well, saucy. Yum.